Tuesday, June 24, 2014

An Open Letter

Dear Special Needs Momma,

 I saw you walk in with your little guy, using his crutches like a pro, and the baby in the stroller with the oxygen had a beautiful smile!!
That waiting room although they catered to special kids, they DID not cater to families.
 My 5yr old was enamored with your baby and kept wanting to sit closer and closer to you. An hour and a half in the waiting room was making everyone a little anxious. Your boy started rocking and verbalizing his discontent, mine were running out the "appropriate behavior" clock.
 I know what's its like to be stared at, the pointing and the whispers. I, too have silently willed the checker at the grocery store to scan those items a little faster, and considered making a break for it leaving the groceries and cart behind in a cloud of dust as my children go from "cute" to "there's something obviously going on there".
When my 5yr old, who has FAS, 30 second memory, social development delays said something childish about your child, I understand that your first reaction was to lash out at my "rude/undisciplined" child.
 But I wish that you hadn't.
 I wish that you had responded with, "Come meet my son ___, let's be friends!"

 Dear Curious Fellow Wal-mart Shopper,

 I'm sorry my 4yr old hoots like an angry owl.
I'm sorry that my 5yr old mistakes your eye contact with an invitation to be held.
I understand that seeing my multicolored family kicks your imagination into overdrive.
 (I blame too many "reality" TV shows)
I would like to invite you to talk to me about it! I'm passionate about foster care. I believe in adoption! I love having a big colorful family!!

 Here's a list of things NOT TO SAY:

°Where'd you get them? (I will respond with, "Aisle 10!  I had a coupon!!"
°Can't you control your kids? (This remark has been met with, "I'm busy controlling my temper right now.")
°Wow, you have a lot of kids! (To this I look shocked and say, oh no! They're not mine!) ;-) The lady at the DMV didn't think that was funny.
 °Soooo, your husband is black? (I hear this all the time, believe it or not. I just matter of factly tell them. "No, he's white. Boy, were we shocked!")
 °You must have a big house! (I actually enjoy this one, the answer is simple. Small house, big heart.)

 If you have said, or heard any other funny questions or comebacks, I'd LOVE to hear them!! Be kind for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.


  1. Jesus said, let the children come unto me and this I am doing. All the children have come to me by God's hand that they might see God. Some days being a Christian mom is not easy with needy kids and needy mom. Do you know God's love? I am learning to practice it with the kids and with strangers like yourself.

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    2. Miss Singing Sparrow,
      Jesus is our example in all things, but chief among things is His heart for children.
      I do know His love, and His GRACE! :-) That's why you never read "Mother of 8 flips out in grocery store." ;-)
      Thank you for taking the time to comment!! :-D
      Have a great day!

  2. Very well said Danielle; you are a special Momma. There are truly many trials involved with foster and adoption, not only in all that is required to love and nurture children that are challenging, but also in having to teach others how to cope with who we are as parents of children who do not fit the norm; it is sad that it is like that. Keep up the good work girlfriend.

    Love you bunches,