Some days I have to CHOOSE Gratefulness.
In spite of the glaring reasons to be humbled by His goodness, sometimes it's hard.
The pain is deep, it's personal, it's lasting.
Does that mean that I can't cry?
Or that grieving isn't a necessary step?
Will God take it personally if I acknowledge that there are days that would take the wind out of any sail?
These questions are obviously rhetorical. He is a big GOD. His shoulders are broader. He is not driven by ego.
But there I was, rifling through a broken day, littered with tiny shards of hope. Those last shreds of "maybe". The realization that something was gone for us, MUST be followed with, but something new is starting. The hole that it leaves will have new hopes rush in to fill the empty and repair the broken. For that process to begin I needed a new focus.
That's when I remembered, I was part of a de-cluttering challenge on Facebook and I still had the laundry room to go through.
Down to the "pit of despair" I went with my 6 black trash bags, and started purging the welcome boxes. (That's what I call the boxes we pull out when we get a new placement)
We are at our legal limit, (8 in the state of Colorado) and unless God does a miracle, we are finished adding to our family until our oldest turns 18.
Today was a day of letting go.
Tiny pink and blue onesies, footie pajamas, little socks with slip-proof rubber paw prints, and tiny towels with built in hoods.
With each item puked from the boxes, I remembered the babies that have worn them, the friends who donated them, and the years of my life that I have spent caring for little ones of many races, ages, and backgrounds.
This is the end of a season and the beginning of a new one.
I am so blessed.
I am so grateful.
The book on top of the donate bags is part of the Face-book challenge. 2 bags made it outside before I grabbed this picture.
Trey and Abi were keeping me company and we decided Trey should model an old pair of his jeans. He's such a good sport. We thought he looked very hobbit-like.
God is so good, He's so good to me.